


Running Alone

by mysticalforces



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-10 23:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13512009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticalforces/pseuds/mysticalforces
Summary: AU: Emma Swan is starting her senior year of high school. Being in one of the richest families and being in the most popular click definitely suggests that she's got everything, but her life is far from perfect. She finds comfort and kinship in a teacher. Will it lead to more? And what will happen when she goes through her darkest struggle yet? {Captain Swan}





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what you guys will think of this. It is pretty controversial. Just to get ages and such out of the way. Emma is 17, and Killian is 23.

Chapter 1

 

Emma Swan groaned for what seemed like the hundredth time.

It was her first day of senior year and she could not find her last class of the day.

She really thought she'd covered this whole building during orientation back when she'd started freshman year.

_Apparently not_ , She ruefully decided.

Emma's apprehension grew when she saw the yellow color of the lockers.

"This is _freshman_ wing!" Emma whimpered, putting her head in her hands. "Not good, so not good..."

She looked over at the clock and felt her tension mount.

If she didn't get a move on and figure out where in the hell she was supposed to be pronto, she was gonna be late.

That word was so foreign to her.

Emma Swan was going to be late.

She could not be late, that just was not an option. She'd never been late for a thing in her life, and she sure as shit wasn't going to start now.

She looked up at the clock and realized she may not have a choice in the matter.

She was gonna be late for class and get...detention.

She could feel her nerves build up as she thought about what her parents would say...what they would do...to _her_.

_Life really was a bitch and than you died_ was all Emma could think right at this very moment.

She looked at the clock hanging on the wall.

Two minutes left.

Maybe if she really hauled ass, she could get the hell off this wing.

She took off and started racing down the halls again. She was half way to the yellow lockers when she felt herself slam into a solid form, the impact of the force crashing them both to the ground.

Emma moaned at the pain she felt in her back as fell to the ground. She could've sworn it cracked.

Not wanting this stranger she'd crashed into to see her tears, she hid her face in the floor.

"Oh my God," An older man's voice said full of worry and sorrow. "Lass, are you okay?"

Emma took in a deep breath as she struggled to stop her tears. She couldn't let this guy see her cry, she couldn't. "I'll live," She croaked out.

The guy gently smiled at her. "You've gotta be hurt, I saw how you fell, straight onto your back. I bet it hurts like hell." She felt him gently touch her shoulder. "Here, let me help you up. I'll take you the nurse's office."

At that statement, Emma found the strength to make her tears stop. That could not happen. If she went to the nurse's office, they'd call her parents, and if they called her parents, her parents would come down here and if her parents came down here...

She felt her head spin at those ideas. Oh, no, no, no. That just was _not_ an option.

She lifted her head and any words that were going to come out of her mouth completely died when her eyes met his.

Right in front of her face was the most gorgeous guy she'd ever laid eyes upon before in her life.

Their eyes met and for a brief second she felt like he was looking right into her soul and she was looking right into his.

"Hey," The guy gently touched her face and it made her shiver. "you're not gonna pass out on me, are you?" He shook his head. "You know what, it's okay. I'll just carry you to the office and it'll be okay..."

Just like that, Emma got her senses back. "No!" She quickly shouted. "I don't need to go see the nurse. I am fine, I promise."

He looked hesitant. "Are you sure? You took a pretty bad fall."

Emma smiled at his obvious concern. Back in the fifth grade she'd broken her arm falling out of a tree and her dad couldn't even be bothered to go to the hospital with her. She didn't even know this guy and he seemed to care more than her dad did.

"I'm positive." Emma assured him. "I'm sorry about knocking into you like that. Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He looked into her eyes with a look she couldn't quite define. "You know, in the future you may not want to run so fast," His brow furrowed as she detected a hint of scolding in them. "Or at all."

"Right," She quickly responded. "I shouldn't have ran into you at all, and I am so sorry about that. I never run like that usually, I promise."

Her eyes scanned over at the fallen papers out of a briefcase and she felt her heart stop.

A teacher.

She'd just ran into a fucking teacher.

Scratch that, she'd just been crushing on a teacher.

_Just great_ , She thought sarcastically. _My first day was going fine and the last hour of the day, I'm gonna get detention for running in the halls and knocking a teacher down in the process. Just fucking great._

The older guy suddenly broke out into a laugh. "Relax lass, I'm just messing with you."

Emma's eyes shot up. "Huh?" She already felt herself being so into him and the phrase 'messing with you' caused her mind to go places it really shouldn't be going with a teacher.

He looked at her amused. "I was joking. You know? It's that thing where someone says something and it's like meant to be one of those things that makes the other person-"

"Right, right!" Emma laughed nervously. "I get it. I get what joking means. I'm not stupid."

He laughed along with her. "I'm sure you're not. You do seem like you might be a little lost though, Miss.. "

"Swan." Emma supplied and didn't miss the look of recognition in the man's eyes. Sadly everyone in town knew of her family. "Emma Swan. Sorry, I seem to have forgotten my manners along with my common sense all of a sudden."

He laughed again. "Hey, it's fine. First days can be very rocky. It's nice to meet you, Emma. I am Killian Jones, the kids call me Mr J though."

Emma was surprised. Teachers never introduced themselves to her by their full name. There was something so different about him. Almost like he could be the kind of guy she could talk to, even with him being a teacher and all.

Killian seemed to catch on to her surprise and he elaborated. "I like to try and get to know my students, so giving them my full name just seems to help ease things along."

Emma smiled. "What makes you think I'm one of your students?"

"Senior, right?" He said, pointing to her id pass.

Emma lightly chuckled. "You caught me."

Killian laughed also. "Well, seeing as with you being a senior and all you have to take psychology in order to graduate "

"So, _you're_ my psych teacher." Emma realized, her eyes held noticeable relief.

"You seem happy about that." Killian noted. "Aw, were you worried you were gonna wind up with Mr Scarlet?"

Emma nodded. "Immensely."

Killian laughed. "I would up stick for him, but he can be kind of a di-" He broke off as if he realized that he was talking to a student and not some girl he'd just met that was his own age. "Jerk. Big jerk."

This time it was Emma's turn to smile at him in amusement. "I think I'm gonna like you, Mr J."

Killian smiled at her warmly. "I think I'm gonna like you too,Emma." He reached down and helped her gather her papers and books.

"Thank you," Emma smiled gratefully. "although, shouldn't I be doing that? I mean, I did run into you. Still sorry about that."

Killian looked up at her, his eyes suddenly serious. "Well, just don't do it again. This is a school, not a playground."

Emma nodded, worry in her eyes. "I so will not, I promise. I was trying to find your class and not be late, but that's no excuse. I shouldn't have "

"Emma, Emma!" Killian cut her off with a slight laugh. "I am _messing_ with you!"

"Oh," Emma said and than gave a small smile. "You have to stop doing that to me. You're like giving me two strokes in five minutes."

"I'm that intimidating, huh?" Killian smirked.

Emma rolled her eyes, feeling completely at ease with him now. "You're a teacher. You could screw up my college plans, not to mention my record. Coming from two parents who expect nothing but perfection "

"That's just a parent's right." Killian smiled at her. "If they didn't love you, they wouldn't be on your case. Remember that."

"I wish they did," Emma muttered, sadness entering her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. You okay?" Killian asked with concern.

Emma quickly plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." A bell rings.

Killian laughed. "Well, I am bloody late."

"Me too," Emma sighed. "I was lost though, what's your excuse?"

Killian appeared to look thoughtful before replying. "Injured by a student."

Emma laughed. "You're funny."

He shrugged. "Hey, I try." He picked up his briefcase and stood up. "C'mon, I'll show you to class. Unless, you were planning on skipping?"

Emma smirked. "Oh my parents would just _love_ that! On second thought, maybe I'll do that. It's always nice to freak them out."

"You're mean." Killian noted with a hint of amusement.

Emma rolled her eyes. "Oh, you don't know my parents."

Emma stood up and she felt a shooting pain rip through her back. "Son of a bitch!" She slumped back to the ground and quickly covered her mouth. She really needed to quit while she was ahead with this guy.

Killian felt himself slightly chuckle at the look of mortification on the girl's face for swearing in front of him.

"Oh god. Please, don't give me a detention Mr J." Emma pleaded, tears nearly coming into her eyes and it made Killian's eyes soften. This poor girl was really afraid. "I wasn't expecting to feel such a sharp pain in my back like that, I'd never swear normally and..."

"Emma, Emma!" Killian knelt down to her level. "I am not going to give you a detention, okay? You're not even in my class yet and you didn't really do anything wrong. I get why you swore." He gave her a small smile. "Take my hand, I'll help you walk to the nurse's office."

"No!" Emma instantly responded. "I don't need to go, I'm fine."

Killian raised his eyebrow at her stubbornness. "You're a strong one, aren't you lass? Most girls would be happy to go to the nurse's station and get out of school an hour early."

"Yeah, well I'm not most girls, okay? I have no one to come get me anyway." Emma told him. "My parents are really busy people and I have to keep moving. Life is hard and you can't just quit the moment things get rough."

Killian looked at her stunned. This girl couldn't be any older than seventeen, but he could've sworn he was talking to a twenty six year old. "I don't care how busy your parents are, Emma...they're your parents. It's their job to take care of you."

_Yeah right_ , Emma thought bitterly. _They have never taken care of me. They may put a roof over my head and give me a five thousand dollar credit limit every month, but they haven't shown me love ever._

"I can take care of me, okay?" Emma responded. "I really need to finish this day. Don't make me go home, please."

Killian seemed to consider her for a moment before nodding his head. "I admire your strength, Emma." He gently took her hand in his, helping her stand and watching her grimace. "I'm still taking you to the nurse's station. Make sure your back isn't fractured."

Emma sighed. "Fine, okay. If you must. I don't want my parents bothered though, okay? They are busy people. They wouldn't be happy if you called them."

Killian helped Emma walk down the hallway, his arm around her waist.

"They can't be that bad, lass." Killian insisted.

"Tell ya what, you meet them and than we'll talk." Emma retorted.


	2. Smile

Chapter 2

 

 Two Weeks Later

  
It was the morning of Senior Portraits day.

Emma critically looked at herself in the mirror for the tenth time in an half hour.

She was wearing one of her fancier white summer dresses and her hair was left down.

She quickly checked her watch.

Crap.

She had about twenty minutes left before she had to be in first period.

Emma sighed and quickly pulled her hair back into a simple ponytail.

 _That would have to do_ , she decided.

Emma grabbed her bag and quickly strutted down the stairs.

"Emma, is that what you're wearing to school today?"

Emma sighed as she heard the obvious disdain in her mother's voice and turned around to face her.

"Yes, it is." Emma answered briskly. "Why?"

Alison Swan looked her daughter over critically. "I thought today was the day for senior portraits."

"It is." Emma answered.

" _That's_ what you're wearing?" Alison's voice was filled with disdain.

"I thought we covered this already, mother." Emma replied, already growing tired of this conversation. "Yes, this is what I'm wearing, yes it's senior portrait day. I have to go or I'm going to be late. Wouldn't you just hate that?"

"Go." Alison nodded, put off for the moment.

"Glad to have your permission," Emma said with a roll of her eyes.

"Emma, why do you _insist_ on rebelling against me every chance you get?" Alison demanded.

"Why do _you_ insist on showing your disappointment in me every chance you get?" Emma shot back.

"I'll stop being disappointed in you when you stop giving me reasons to be disappointed." Alison responded back harshly.

Emma could feel tears begin to sting her eyes and quickly pushed them back. She could show no weakness, that would only fuel her mother's disappointment in her.

"Thanks for the love, mom." Emma responded sarcastically before quickly fleeing out the door, slamming it behind her.

"What was that all about?" Jonathan Swan asked as he came from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in the hand.

"Oh, the usual." Alison replied annoyed. "I'm the bad guy as usual."

"But of course." Jonathan smirked. "What would life be without the proper order of things?"

"Is it just too much to ask for our daughter show a little ambition? To take the proper steps into being the kind of daughter we raised?" Alison asked with a sigh.

The smirk fell from Jonathan's face and it was replaced with disappointment. "I don't know, baby. Sometimes I think you didn't give birth to her at all."

***

Emma practically sped to school and the car squeaked as it came to a stop, nearly hitting someone in her rage.

"Geez, Emma what the hell!" Regina Mills yelled in shock.

Emma sighed, the state she was in she'd go off on Regina even when she was the one in the wrong.

"Sorry about that." Emma said briskly as she got out of her car.

"Sorry?" Regina's eyes were still wide from the near death experience. "You _nearly_ killed me!"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Regina stop being so over dramatic." She slung her bag over her shoulders. "If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead."

With that, Emma took off leaving Regina to gaze after her friend in shock.

***

Emma entered the school building and ran smack into Killian Jones.

"Mr J," Emma muttered, feeling all of her senses just fade away at the mere sight of him.

Killian steadied the girl who nearly crashed the both of them to the ground again. "Emma," He said with a slight smirk. "I thought we talked about this."

Emma nodded. "We did and you're just messing with me again, right?"

Killian smiled before shaking his head. "Actually not this time." The smile fell and it was replaced with slight worry. "I saw what happened in the parking lot."

The color drained from Emma's face. "No one was hurt!" She blurted out in defense.

Killian shook his head and gave her a scolding look. "That's not the point, Emma. You were speeding and you nearly hit Regina. It was reckless and you could've killed her."

Emma turned away from him and put her face in her hands as she struggled to not lose it in front of him. Her morning had already been terrible and she didn't think she could take anymore criticism.

"Emma," Killian wasn't trying to be cruel, but he needed her to get what she'd almost done and so far it just looked like she was trying to ignore him. "Listen, yo-"

Emma spun around, her emotions on full force. "What?!" She shrieked, causing Killian's eyes to go wide. "What do you _want_ from me, huh?! You wanna tell me how disappointed you are in me?! You wanna tell me what's wrong with my dress and how I just suck at _everything_ I do?!"

"Emma, please lower your voice." Killian advised, noticing the other kids starting to stare. "What's going on?" He asked softly. "Why are you getting so upset here? I'm just talking to you. You're not in any trouble."

Emma covered her face with her hands to try and stop the tears. She was so embarrassed that she was losing it right in front of him. "I don't know what to do anymore." She cried brokenly.

Killian looked around and with all the students crawling around, he didn't see this as the best place to have a discussion that he clearly needed to have with her.

Something else was clearly going on with this girl or else she wouldn't have gotten so upset. He had this need to council a student whenever they were in any type of distress and it wasn't just that, he thought to himself. He liked this girl for reasons that went far beyond anything that they should have.

"Ok," Killian spoke gently, placing his hand on her shoulder as if to calm her some. "C'mon, Emma. Come with me."

The second bell rang and Emma quickly wiped her tears. "I can't," She choked out. "I'm really sorry for going psycho on you but I have to get to class. I can't be late."

Killian knew he should probably let her go, but for reasons that were selfish he couldn't. He needed to know what was wrong with her.

"I'll write you a pass, okay?" Killian assured her. "C'mon, come with me for a few minutes."

Emma nodded. "Ok, I'll come with you."

***

"So," Killian said leading Emma into his empty classroom and shutting the door behind him. "have a seat."

Emma walked over to one of the desks in the front row and sat down.

Killian walked around and sat on his desk in front of her. "Wanna tell me why you got upset back there?"

Emma sighed a little embarrassed. "It's been a bad morning, Mr J." She began softly. "That's not an excuse for me to endanger other people with my driving, nor was it an excuse to completely lose it on you back there." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Killian nodded. "I'm sorry for whatever I said that upset you. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about yourself."

Emma nodded. "I know. You have to know that my outburst back there had nothing to do with you, ok? It's been an awful morning and what you saw and heard was the direct result of a bad fight with my mother."

Killian raised his eye brow in concern. "You're having problems at home, lass?"

Emma laughed. "I'm _always_ having problems at home, Mr J." She quickly rushed to explain on when she noticed the frown and deep concern on her teacher's face. "No, no! It's nothing like that, I assure you. They don't put their hands on me, I'm not in any danger."

Killian didn't appear to be convinced. "Listen, if something like that ever does happen, I don't want you to be afraid to tell so-"

"It won't and it never has!" Emma said loudly, before calming down. "Listen, sadly there is no great bond between my parents and I but they have never laid a hand on me." Killian nodded, seeming to be convinced. "Not that they need to. Why beat me, when their words can do it for them?"

Killian looked concerned again. "They verbally abuse you?" That was a whole nother issue all together and in his book verbal abuse was just as bad if not worse than physical abuse.

Emma sighed as she stood up. "Listen, there is nothing going on at home that I cannot handle, ok? Can this just be considered as like a teacher/student confidentiality thing?" She saw Killian's hesitancy. "Please," She begged. "I am not in danger and they do not hurt me. If you were to tell someone, _you'd_ be the one that was hurting me."

That seemed to convince Killian, although he was still hesitant. "Ok, but I have to tell you if I ever see a mark on you or if I suspect that they are hurting you, I will have no choice but to tell someone. That's not just my job as your teacher, that's my job as your friend."

Emma stood still, seeming to be in shock at that last statement. "We're friends?"

Killian smiled warmly. "I'd like to think so."

"Isn't there like some kind of rule on teachers and students being in a relationship? Even a friendship one?" Emma asked curiously.

Killian got up and walked over to her. She felt her heart flutter in her throat.

"Well to a technical stand point there is, but there are some rules I don't follow. And since we're friends now you can call me Killian, atleast when we're not in class." He said with a softness and Emma could've sworn there was some kind of huskiness to it as well.

Emma smiled as she felt something wonderful shift in what was becoming such a bad day for her. "Ok, Killian. Your secret is safe with me."

Killian smiled in return. "As are yours, Emma." He than took a step back from her. "I'll go get that slip."

"But I didn't even tell you the whole story." Emma said somewhat confused.

"I didn't need the whole story." Killian responded.

"You didn't?" Emma asked.

Killian shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, you ever wanna talk I'm here, and I'd like to hear it sometime, but that's not why I insisted on bringing you back here for a few minutes."

"Than why did you?" Emma asked curiously.

"I didn't want you to go to class until I was sure you were ok, and I..." Killian trailed off. He was fairly certain he probably shouldn't tell her this next part. He was already treading on dangerous territory with her as it was.

"You what?" Emma asked, her curiosity peaking.

Killian seemed to contemplate telling her this. "Can you keep another secret?"

Emma smiled as she nodded. "Of course. I can keep lots of secrets."

Killian grinned. "Ok, I..." His face turned slightly serious. "I wanted to make you smile."

Emma looked stunned and Killian winked at her and turned around to get the slip.

Emma felt herself almost slump into the seat of the desk.

This was definitely new and terrifying territory.

She was on the fast paced road of falling in love with her teacher, and from the way he was looking at her, she had a feeling that maybe just maybe he was on that road with her too.


	3. Disappoint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the super long wait. I hope you guys are still with me.

Chapter 3

 

 

One Week Later

 

  
"Hey, Emma over here!"

 

Emma turned around, she had her lunch tray in hand as she recognized the familiar voice of her best friend.

 

She walked over to her best friend, Lily's table and almost wished she'd pretended she hadn't heard her when she saw the others she was greeted with.

 

"Hey, Lily!" Emma forced herself to gush as if happy as could be. "What's up, everyone?"

 

"Actually, we wanted to ask _you_ that, Em." Lily replied.

 

Emma took a seat and remained nonchalant. "What do you mean?"

 

"Well, Regina mentioned that you almost ran her over?" Lily gave her friend a pointed look.

 

Emma inwardly grimaced. She should've realized Regina would spill that little tid bit. She was the gabbiest one in the whole bunch.

 

"Yeah," Emma laughed nervously. "Sorry about that, Regina."

 

Regina shrugged. "It's cool. So, what was up with you disappearing with Mr J for a half hour?"

 

_I knew I should've gone out for lunch_ , Emma thought to herself. _But no I decided to eat in the lunch room with the firing squad_.

 

"He uh..." Emma ran a hand through her hair. "He saw me nearly hit you and reprimanded me about it."

 

"Wow," Regina said surprised. "He always seemed so easy going."

 

Emma shrugged. "Yeah, well all's not as it always seems. He's a jackass and a loser." She inwardly felt bad about badmouthing someone who had recently become a good friend to her, but she couldn't let them think she had anything going with Mr J. Sure, they were all nice to her, but they could be lethal. She didn't want them getting the wrong impression or spreading false rumors around.

 

"I'm sure you told him who your parents are, right?" Lily spoke up. She saw something she couldn't quite place in her friend's eyes. This was all a front. Why, she could not figure out.

 

"I don't want any special treatment because my parents happen to own half this town," Emma replied tensely.

 

"I don't get you, Em." Another girl from the table who was sitting next to Regina spoke. "If I had your kind of power, I'd be using that right up. Why don't you?"

 

"I don't believe in abusing something just cause you have it," Emma replied tersely. "I'll see you all later."

 

"Em," Lily called confused. "You just sat down. We have like forty minutes left."

 

"I think it's the lunch room or something guys," Emma replied, the lie rolling right off her tongue. "I'm starting to feel stuffy."

 

"Do you want us to come with?" Lily asked concerned.

 

"Lily, she doesn't need you to hold her hand every five minutes," Regina teased.

 

Emma forced a fake smile. "It's cool, Lily. I just need some air. See you all later,"

 

With that, Emma took off out of the lunch room.

 

"You'd think she hates being around us or something," Merida spoke up.

 

Lily looked at the girl sitting next to Regina before nodding her head. "Yeah, that's exactly what you'd think..."

 

***

 

Emma briskly walked from wing to wing until she was onto the junior wing.

 

"I don't know what's happening to me," Emma whispered to herself. "I hate my friends..." She ran a hand through her hair as she shook her head. "No," She corrected herself firmly. "I hate who I become when I'm _around_ my friends and that's just the simple truth."

 

Emma sighed as she slid down the lockers to the ground.

 

It was like whenever she was around them, she felt like she had to tell them what they'd want to hear.

 

It was no new thing, she'd been doing it ever since middle school. So, what had changed? Why was this bothering her now?

 

Than, it suddenly hit Emma like a ton of bricks.

 

It was Mr J...Killian...her teacher...it was him.

 

He was rapidly becoming one of her best friends and she cared about him. For the first time since becoming best friends with Lily, she cared about someone more than she cared about herself or her stupid social rep.

 

That's why lying about him in such a negative manner had bothered her so much that she'd high-tailed it away from all of her friends.

 

It had hurt her to lie about him and that was the honest truth.

 

"Lily, where do you think she went?"

 

Emma inwardly grimaced as she recognized Regina's voice.

 

"God, can't I have like five minutes to myself?!" Emma groaned. She quickly stood up and scampered off in the opposite direction.

 

Ten minutes later, Emma was still dodging her friends and it looked to her like she'd wound up right where she'd started off at.

 

With a sigh, she leaned against the lockers.

 

"You can come in here if you want."

 

Emma's head snapped up at the familiar voice, she looked over and saw Killian Jones sitting at his desk with a bunch of papers.

 

Emma slightly smiled as she walked over to his door. "And why on earth would I want to spend my remaining lunch time with _you_?"

 

"Hey, it's your choice." Killian shrugged. "Don't feel obligated or anything, but if you continue to run through the halls, another teacher might ask you to give up _all_ of your lunch time and not be as nice as I'm being." He looked up at her with a slight smirk. "But, hey it's your choice."

 

Emma walked into his classroom and sat at the desk right in front of his.

 

"Wise move," Killian acknowledged with a smile.

 

"Was I really running?" Emma asked.

 

He smiled. "Actually more like sprinting, but that doesn't change the fact that you still aren't supposed to be playing musical chairs in the hallways while other classes are in progress."

 

Emma nodded. "I know, I know. Not the brightest move on my part."

 

"So, why were you?" Killian asked.

 

"I really wasn't playing a game or trying to interrupt a class, I was just trying to get a little peace." Emma admitted.

 

Killian furrowed his eyebrow in concern. "What's going on?"

 

Emma sighed. "It's my friends...they can be a little too much at times. I needed some space from them."

 

"You're avoiding your friends?" He asked her confused.

 

Emma nodded. "I love them, Mr J, do not misunderstand me, but..."

 

"But?" He encouraged.

 

"But sometimes I wanna push them off a cliff!" Emma blurted and than let out a breath. She felt some kind of relief at saying that, finally she had one person in her life she could be honest with.

 

Killian looked at her stunned before letting out a slight laugh. "They're really that bad?'

 

Emma giggled. "That was a little over dramatic, but you have no idea what it's like not to be able to be real with anyone. It's exhausting and it even makes you feel like sometimes you're going just a little crazy."

 

"You can be real with me, Emma." Killian told her seriously.

 

Emma smiled softly. "Thanks and that means a lot to me. I'm so tired of pretending with them and I kind of felt like I just couldn't do it anymore today, so I dodged them."

 

"Do you wanna talk about why?" Killian asked, his eyes studying her gently.

 

"I, um..." Emma sighed as she decided to just be honest and upfront with him. "I kind of owe you an apology."

 

"For what?" Killian asked her confused.

 

"At lunch, I was sitting with my friends and I said some bad things about you." Emma admitted and rushed on as if to stop him from thinking the worst of her. "I didn't mean them though!" She ran a hand through her hair. "I didn't mean any of them. I just...God this is gonna sound so lame and superficial, but I only badmouthed you to my friends because I didn't want them to think there was something between us and start spreading false stuff around."

 

"What's superficial about that?" Killian asked her. "It sounds like your heart was in the right place."

 

Emma sighed. "It was but it wasn't."

 

"I'm afraid I don't understand.." Killian was confused once again.

 

"Ok," Emma placed her hands in front of her as she leaned forward. "this is the part where you're totally gonna think less of me..."

 

"I doubt it." Killian interrupted with a soft smile.

 

He was completely convinced that this girl was alot harder on herself than anyone else could ever be and he worried about what that kind of thing was doing to her self esteem.

 

Emma paused and than looked up into his eyes. "Why?"

 

"Why do I doubt that I'll think less of you?" He asked.

 

"Why _all_ of it?" Emma asked him. "From the first day that I carelessly knocked you over making the both of us late...you've never been anything but nice to me. Why? Why are you always so nice to me?"

 

Killian slightly frowned. What had happened to this beautiful girl to make her think so less of herself? The more he thought about it he realized it had to be a who. It was a question of, who had happened to her. "Why do you think I shouldn't I be?"

"Because..." Emma sighed. "I'm a fake and a fraud. I'm not this great person that you think I am. You shouldn't want to be friends with me Mr..." She paused as she remembered that he told her she could call him Killian as long as class wasn't in progress. That made her feel worse. He truly thought of her as a friend. "Killain," She stressed. "You shouldn't want to be friends with me, you should want to get as far away from me as you can."

Killian looked at her sadly and his heart went out to her. "Why?"

"Because I'll just wind up disappointing you." Emma admitted. "I disappoint everyone. All I _am_ is a disappointment..."


End file.
